| The Open Source Facts of Life |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|12:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Trying to open up, a bit... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | CNN | ] |
First of all, I want to just get this out there, in case anyone thinks I don't know it: I'm a voyeur. I have been a voyeur since I was much younger than I am, now, and, despite the starting source, it is not a purely sexual designation. I enjoy the glimpses of emotionality, of honesty, of raw psychological nakedness, afforded me by those who call me friend. But, in my voyeurism, I have... I don't want to say "Evolved," because it's not the time for megalomania... Let's call it "Forced and Internal Shift." I don't care, so much, about sneaking peaks, unknown. I want it given, voluntary. That's the only way it means anything to me, at all.
If I can ask, and receive the causal, open unfolding, the clichéd pulling back of the curtain, a person leaving him or herself wide for me to caress, cut, or ignore, then it means something. And if i can put something of myself into their hands, something soft and vulnerable, and trust them, close and open my eyes and hands and let what comes come, then it means all the more. I say that I play "Trust Games," and what I mean by that is that I create systems of play, so that people feel comfortabale to open up and trust me and each other. But I always try to make it clear what's happening.
Now, maybe you think I'm too demanding. Maybe you think I'm one-sided with it. But all I know how to do (and I know I've said all of this before, somewhere) is to be open, to be honest, to say what's going on, and to hope that i reveal enough to make you feel trusted and respected. But, ultimately, I will answer what you ask, and I will lay myself open, when I can. I'm sorry if that's not enough, but it's what I can do.
Moving on. Lately, you've been hearing about a lot of the holiday troubles I've been having: Credit, Cars, Money, Etc. But we take the good and the bad, around here. So.
I got a car, with help from my father and a ride to the rental place from ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) beard.
I got my mother a Christmas present.
My magical practice has been movinng at great pace, with wonderful moments of synchronicity in conversation and event.
Been watching a lot of Ergo Proxy with unknownbinaries, and it is awesome.
And last night, we made a delicious asiago and herb tortellini, with a pan seared pork chop, tomato, and basil sauce. Deglazed the pan with the same wine that went into the sauce, and the whole thing was absolutely delicious.
These are some of the good things.
Also, according to Widgett, my autobiography now has to be titled "Multi-Dimensional Lightning Tentacle Shrapnel Everywhere!"
Good morning. |
|
|
| 2009 |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|11:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Looking for A Different Year. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Caprica (Finally) | ] |
This year is almost over, and Warren Ellis would just like to say, "Fuck you, 2009."
And, for the most part, I want to say Hear, hear.
Now, don't get it twisted, kids, this year has been pretty fucking amazing, in many ways. unknownbinaries had her first party in years, and my birthday ritual went spectacularly.
But on New Year's Day of this year, a friend of a friend had a seizure, driving home from the New Year's party we'd attended, and landed his car in a ditch. He was taken to the hospital with brain damage, and was in a coma. As far as I know, there has been no change. This was in conjunction with two counts of alcohol poisoning, what was damn near a fist-fight, and an almost-heart attack, in the residence of the party, and in direct counter point to some other events (which may have contributed to the almost heart attack), during same.
When a year starts you off, that way, I think it's pretty fucking clear what it's telling you.
And So Fuck You, 2009. |
|
|
| The Comforting Infinity |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|09:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | waking up | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the sound of the heat | ] |
Dreamed of a world where everyone had access to the technology that could augment them, make them more, create a swirling web of attributes and personalities, with a central void-core of Self. This was DollHouse technology, but the key difference was the choice to do it, the retention of who you were, not who you were made to be at the whim of others.
Dreamed of the Library of Borges as an infinite series of minds, with the ability to write new minds and new books in new letters, always increasing the permutations of finite combinations out, further. The Library as a Mall, as a world with food and things to create and observe.
I dreamed of a mad scientist, and of the people I care about, here...
I don't remember the rest. |
|
|
| "I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together." |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|11:01 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  working | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A LOT of Ergo Proxy... | ] |
It was almost exactly seven years ago (http://wolven.livejournal.com/199767.html) that I first mentioned the concept of the penultimate goal of founding a Collective of Individuals, or a hive mind which respects the Single Self, and all that it can add to and generate within the group. Not Borg-- no mere ant colony of control and distribution-- but something more and better. Something cleaner.
I went into the idea, again, here: http://wolven.livejournal.com/201368.html
And here: http://wolven.livejournal.com/701357.html
And it has come up, twice, today, in conversation at work, and in the show I'm watching. Now, in talking to jerem_morrow, he suggested, as others have, that the internet is this thing, or has the potential to be. And while I don't deny that what I want could not be possible without the internet, but the internet is Not the the thing for which I am looking. There are too many petty arguments, too much of "who can piss higher up the rope," for the Internet to do what I need it to do, and there is a severe lack of the will to communicate and the drive to, once we have communicated, Do The Work We Have Determined Needs Doing. No consensus, no will to find it.
And some think it's human nature, that way. But I say, in a truly linked sensorium, with a constant assesment of what the individual means and can offer, where we know each other, well, we have the hope to make it a reality. Now, this hinges on ideas that some people find shaky, at best, but fiat this: That the sensory and neural impulses of the individual can be linked and transmitted to other indivduals. What good things can we do, with that? I think some of the best things in the world. But it has to be a choice.
In thinking about this, today, and yesterday, I realised that people are too often forced into the hive-mind. The Borg overrun whole civilisations and worlds, and assimilate them into the collective. No choice, only "This Is Best For You." This is the first wrong step. There has to be a choice, a recognition of what can go right, and the range of potential consequences (as far as we can, of course, while allowing for the unknown unknowns, but cataloging our types or reactions, for their eventualities), and we have to communicate to each other that which we share and feel.
The rammifications of this are social, sexual, emotional, psychological, epistemological, and ecological, and I think the balancing of the two extremes and the embracing of that resultant paradox is a worth goal.
These thoughts brought to you by Friday Night's "DollHouse" episodes, and conversations over the course of today. |
|
|
| Someone else's Blog Post |
[Dec. 20th, 2009|08:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Here | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sanctuary | ] |
In which Alan Furth puts my Synchronicity Diagram to quite good use.
As I say, in the comments, it's one of the most detailed and level-headed accountings of a series of experiences with synchronicity, and how to potentially put them to use.
Good times. |
|
|
| Dreams |
[Dec. 17th, 2009|11:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | still waking up | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Television. | ] |
Dreams of dreams, wherein I was falling, andd every time I woke up, there was a field, in the night. You see, I was sleep walking, but not just walking. I was using the talent of Kefisatz Haderach (we were talking about Dune, at dinner, last night) to travel over great distances of the midwest, in the coursee of a night. But I could only do it, while asleep. I arrived at a farm house, and unknownbinaries was waiting for me, and I told her what was happening, even though she kind of already knew.
Transition, then, to a hallway in a mall, and into the mall and stores, and a sit-down dinner with my family, all of them, in the food-court. Our table was also two aisles in the LaVista Rd Whole Foods (Holiday Party is at the LaVista store, this year). We sat, and ate, and I met my new cousins, and I decided that I wanted sushi, which was monetarily imprudent, but it was Christmas, so I got it, anyway. It was a strange combination of tuna, salmon, and gyro meat (dinner last night). I made and odd concotion of sweet thick soy sauce (planned but delayed dinner, last night), regular soy, and some kind of au jus.
Transition, then, to John Slattery (he was on Colbert, last night) going through a divorce, and running of to find himself at some kind of foundry or warehouse. He met a Rastafarian who taught him how to relax (with a little Spiritual Guidance), and learned that the company physician had found that he had a venereal disease, and that he couldn't work. His foreman, being an asshole, said that he only wantedto know if he had something that would cause sores. John went inside, where Don Draper was waiting for him.
Something about animal carcasses, all along one side of a cabin, partially buried under leaves and mulch and snow. Stepping into and throught th half-rotted carcasses, which is how we re-found them. Don Draper becomes Booth, from Bones. Something about seeing a golden eagle, and screeching replies to it.
Dreams. |
|
|
| "Go Forth" |
[Dec. 16th, 2009|12:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | thinking | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Daily Show | ] |
Last night, on Twitter, I mentioned Levi's Jeans' new "Go Forth" ad campaign, and how it does a fucking disturbingly good job of pressing some very precise semiotic buttons, in regards to the nature of What They Are Asking You To Do. They use particular resonances of sound, composition of shot, words, imagery, all combined in a Very particular way to mean precisely one thing.
What I'm saying is, if you look at them, it's like they're designed to make people think that Levi's is actually and in fact going to Start a Serious Revolution. They want you to set some fucking Fires.
Now, Advertising Age is trying to say that it's the "American Pioneering Spirit," they're trying to evoke, but I don't think so. I think, if you look at these ads, you don't see people determined to Strike Forth, into a New Land; that's something that couldn't be engineered in the context of today's youth. In the face of the Green Revolution, and the classist nature of Things at home, these are ads which say "Go Forth," yes, but not "Go Forth, Into The Untamed Spirit." Rather they say "Go Forth, And Take Back That Which Has Been Taken From You. Go Forth, And Make This World What You Need It To Be, At Any Cost."
This is not pioneering, you see here; this is a call to revolution. And it is deeply disingenuous. Their advertising agency has done a fine job, and this has all the earmarks of a serious call to arms, and Levi's makes a wonderful showing of preparing to light the torches, throw the bricks, and storm the streets.
They Are Not. But they damn sure press All the right buttons to make it twitch like they are. |
|
|
| 'Neil Says "Hi" By The Way...' |
[Dec. 15th, 2009|07:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awesome | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ocean's Twelve | ] |
So I met Neil Gaiman, last night.
He did a reading of Odd and the Frost Giants, which I Need, and of The Graveyard Book, and he answered many questions, in between. He told us of the inspiration for Coraline (Holly's spooky stories about herself, when she was a young girl), and for the The Graveyard Book (taking Mike to ride his tricycle, in the graveyard acroos from their home, so he didn't try to ride it down the many many stairs, and hurt himself). He also declined to provide the meaning of life. Dang.
We then waited for 2+ hours, as the line wound around the auditorium, and we read, and waited. unknownbinaries drew, before the reading, and while we waited for the signing. See here: http://unknownbinaries.livejournal.com/1009621.html (He absolutely loved it. He looked in complete shock, when I told him that she drew it in the 30-40 minutes before the reading, and shaded it as we waited to come up to the signing).
When we finally got there, Neil signed my Hill House author's preferred edition of American Gods, with "Sweet Dreams," which he didn't know was so very appropriate, but made me smile.
He noticed my hoodie, and said that he couldn't think of anything more appropriate, than seeing that there. That made me smile, a great deal.
I subtlely indicated that we have acquaintances in common, by passing on Widgett's regards, and Neil sent his, in return.
This, you see, is my problem: When I have people in common with people, I want to enumerate those people, tell all the ways we've encountered each other before, overlapping paths. Because that's important to me. But it's not important to many others, especially famous people who don't know me, personally, so I have to restrain myself... So I did.
I mentioned Widge, but not greygirlbeast, and not our encounter in 2000, and not Twitter, and on and on. Things I did not do. I was good.
And it was amazing. Wonderful night. Didn't sleep well, but it was totally, completely worth it.
That is all. |
|
|
| Didn't even have to use my AK... |
[Dec. 14th, 2009|04:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | people talking, upstairs. | ] |
Opening shift went by really fast. Made ~$20, in tips. Got the notes down, for my DollHouse contest entry. Got my Wednesday Morning shift switched to Friday Night.
Going to see Neil Gaiman, this evening, which is Awesome, and also funny. You see, upon leaving work, I put on my hoodie, because it's chilly and damp out (though not actually cold, hooray), and I happened to look down and realise what hoodie I was wearing: My Dresden Dolls hoodie. Completely unintentional, that, but hopefully Mr Gaiman will get a kick out of it.
Gotta get ready to go. |
|
|
| DollHouse Essay Contest |
[Dec. 12th, 2009|09:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Going to do this. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ego_likeness - [Traveling Son] | ] |
For those out there who write and who love Joss Whedon's DollHouse, I'd like to direct your attention to the following contest:
http://www.smartpopbooks.com/contest
Really interesting work to be done, there, I think.
Gotta get back to the coffeeing. |
|
|
| Putting this out there: Avatar. |
[Dec. 12th, 2009|12:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Putting this out there | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the heater | ] |
I don't care.
I know, it's weird, and you're all looking to revoke my Geek Cred Points, but, from the information I've been given, thus far, i just don't give a shit about Avatar.
Well, okay, I Do care, just not in the way many of fyou probably want me to care. There is so much they could have done with a movie about transposing consciousness, adaptive cloning, genetic augmentation, the combinations of magic and science, and culture war, Especically in today's climates, and instead all I'm getting is... Blue People.
The reviews are good, and the people are amazed at the technical and artistic proficiency of the thing, and the performances of the actors, but... I need more reason to see this than that it Looks and Acts well. This is on a personal note, but there's too much, there, that could be done really right, too many ideas that I've seen fucked over of buried under a mountain of glitter and action sequences, and big names, and it seems to me that that's precisely what is happening, here.
Honestly, there are still things I need to see, far more than this. Where The Wild Things Are, for instance. So, I may see it, in theaters. I may wait for the DVD. But, as it stands, I don't feel like I've been given any reason to go out of my way.
That is all. |
|
|
| Why I need what I need. |
[Dec. 11th, 2009|06:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | introspecting. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The DollHouse | ] |
I honestly don't know why I sometimes crave debauchery, but I've been having one of those weeks. One of those weeks where I want to get some friends together, and go see some other friends perform at a strip club.
One of those weeks where, while at a crowded bar, I ask many of my co-workers hypothetical questions about what specific actions constitute adultery, so I can know if my score is Eight or Nine.
One of those weeks where I'm thinking about New Year's and not just in a "what" and "where" kind of way, but in a "How Can I Top Last Year...?" even as I don't exactly want to go anywhere near what happened, last year.
One of those really dirty minded weeks, where what I want more than anything else, is to watch people have new sexual experiences and think new thoughts in new situations.
I guess that's because I like seeing people grow and change.
But, also, I sometimes just really crave debauchery.
Strange. |
|
|
| Neil Gaiman; Car Rental Woes |
[Dec. 11th, 2009|12:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Outer Limits | ] |
In case you didn't know, Little Shop of Stories is hosting one Mr. Neil Gaiman who is reading at Presser Hall, Agnes Scott campus, Decatur GA, Monday December 14th, 2009, at 6pm EST.
All the tickets are gone, but u_madman has one extra overflow ticket. See the man, for the thing.
In other news, I seem to have mildly sprained my wrist, somehow. Repetitive Barista Stress Syndrome, I'm calling it, for now.
We went to the Thinking Man, last night, for Anna's Graduation Party. There were a few hiccups, but everything went pretty well, over all. Determined that I've still only ever broken eight out of ten commandments. Good times.
Going to go ice my wrist, to see if I can't get the swelling to go down, then I'm going to call Enterprise, and see if their automated call system is still ridiculously rude.
Here's a tip: If you make an automated phone system for a car rental company, make sure that A) You make one of the options "If you would like information on making a reseervation," and B) when the customer hits Zero, for an operator, the system doesn't simply say "Please hold... An Operator Is Currently Unvailable. Goodbye." And then HANG UP ON THEM. That'd be good.
Later. |
|
|
| Credit Recap. Wintermass |
[Dec. 10th, 2009|02:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | confused and pissed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Rock In This Pocket (Song of David)" by Suzanne Vega, stuck in my head | ] |
Let's Review: I've never had a credit card. Never needed one, so I never bothered.
I have two student loan accounts, with the US Federal Government, both deferred, in good standing.
I have never defaulted on a loan.
I have never been excessively late on a bill.
Almost exactly one year ago, I attempted to rent a car, and I was denied, due to a problem of some indeterminate nature, on my credit report. I obtained an Equifax report, and found Nothing out of the ordinary. Loans, deferrment, etc, that's IT. But, fine, whatever; the shit is what it is.
This year, so that we might rent a car to make the trek to the frozen north, for Wintermass, I decide that I will obtain a credit card, so that I can more easily rent said car. Except not. Declined for a card, told to check my credit report and see what's what.
So. I checked with AnnualCreditReport.com, a genuinely free service offering checks of three separate credit collators (Experian, Equifax, and one other one I can't remember), and I find... Nothing. Two reports full of nothing out of the ordinary, except a mistaken address, and phone number, which I corrected. No flags, no potential problems; just loans, in good standing. But no Credit Score, either.
So I go to FreeCreditReport.com, which is Not, in fact Genuinely Free, as they require a credit card, and if I don't cancel my "Membership," in nine days (NOTE TO SELF), they start charging me $14.95 a month. Anyway. Nothing Out Of The Ordinary. Oh, and they can't generate a score because I don't have enough of a credit history to do so.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "There's your answer, Fish-Bulb. You can't rent a car, because your credit history is too small." Except I've rented a car before. Three times. In my own fucking name, AND co-signed with others. PLUS, this wouldn't explain, at all, why I couldn't get a fucking Credit Card.
WHAT THE FUCK.
Wintermass is never easy. The walls of reality are thin, and so is patience. I asked for 65F degree temperatures, last night, and we got them, today, out of nowhere, through heavy storms that kept me up most of the night, reducing my projected 5.5 hours of sleep to approximately Four. My own fault, really, and I accept that. But when I ask for the ease of transport up north and the monetary security to make it happen, where the fuck is that? Where, I ask you, is that?
I would like several hundred thousand dollars, US (let's call it $455,698.86), through legal means, without anyone having to die, allocated to me, for my work and my general use, and I would like to have that by tomorrow.
Thank you. |
|
|
| Wave invites. |
[Dec. 8th, 2009|03:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Here. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TV | ] |
I have let's call it five more Google Wave invites.
Hands up. First come, first serve. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
tired